you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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