don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
40s are totally the cure
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize