i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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