I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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