thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
