let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
