Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude i'm inner monologue high
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
