I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
