Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
