ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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