i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
