Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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