I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
