He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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