You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize