She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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