That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
