yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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