I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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