Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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