It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
