We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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