we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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