Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
