I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
