No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
