yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
