girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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