RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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