ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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