I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
