who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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