Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize