Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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