so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
