Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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