so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think my moral compass just broke
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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