i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize