Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
