32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
