great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
