We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
