Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
wanna go halves on a baby?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
