i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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