some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just high enough for therapy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
