Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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