Where is the hickey?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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