i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
