Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
