Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
