So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize