I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
