PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was so not down for the gang bang
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
