nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love black thongs
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize