I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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