You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
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