I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i came on her dog
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
