i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
