It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
