You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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