He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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