so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize