She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
