I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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