fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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