Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
