just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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