In America we eat man semen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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