Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize